Neko

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 is this good?

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Is this good?
it's okay.
is this good? Empty25%is this good? Empty
 25% [ 1 ]
it's good.
is this good? Empty25%is this good? Empty
 25% [ 1 ]
it's really good!
is this good? Empty50%is this good? Empty
 50% [ 2 ]
it's too long.
is this good? Empty0%is this good? Empty
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I didn't even feel like reading but I wanted to vote.
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it has some room for improvements.
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Total Votes : 4
 

AuthorMessage
RockStar

RockStar


Posts : 2929
Awesomeness : 25
Join date : 2010-08-25
Age : 27
Location : standing outside in the rain like a retard

is this good? Empty
PostSubject: is this good?   is this good? Icon_minitime1Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:56 am

Ookami was under his maple tree when the storm started. He knew something was coming but never imagined it could be this bad. He had seen the dark sky that threatend snow and he had seen the green tint to the clouds. But he underestimated it. The snow fell in tons around him, he could barely see three feet in front of him. Then the wind picked up, the maple tree where he resided creeped and swayed, Ookami knew he had to get out of there. He bolted forward into the snow and wind. He squinted his eyes, trying to see in front of him. His thick and shaggy coat was no match for the cold and it blew wildly around in the wind. He had no clue where he was going so he just ran as fast as he could, waiting to see if he would find any tall structures that would provide good shelter.
He traveled for what seemed like forever, just running forward. At least he thought he was rung forward, he probably changed direction quite a bit in the last half an hour. Finally a large tower came into view, Ookami had never been here before but from what he could see it would make a good shelter. He would never imagine what was going to happen though...

Ookami walked up to the tower, he had to pick his feet up high, trying to trek through the snow. He made it up the hill finally, after slipping down numerous tines. He was exhausted and he collapsed at the top of the hill. He lay there as the snow started covering his body. His senses were dragged away and he was slowly being buried in the snow. He finally realized what was happening when the cold snow had covered him up to his neck. His eyes widened and he wiggled around, the snow wouldn't give in though. He tried to stand but the snow was pair so tightly that he had absolutely no succes in getting out of his cold tomb. He sighed, not giving up he dig his claws into the snow and pushed forward, he only moved a little bit. The snow was quickly beginning to cover his head. He whimpered and pushed one final time, using all his strength he managed to get out of the snow. He was ready to collapse again but knew that if he did that he would just wind up in the same sutuation he had just barely managed to get out of.

He approached the tower, he couldn't see it that great but he could see enough. He circled the tower, looking for an entrance. He couldn't find one. He kept circling it, his side pressed right up against the wall. Finally his side entered a missing part of wall. He looked at it, it was no missing wall it was the entrance. He smiled and entered it. He walked up to the middle of the stairs. Finally he was away from he swirling snow and epic winds. He sighed as he curled up in a ball. He was not used to this.. Where he comes from it didn't even snow, so he had no idea where this storm would be heading. It scared him, being so helpless and not having a clue. He was kind of angry with himself too, usually he would be out in the middle of a hurricane looking for people who were trapped or needed help, but here he was, under shelter and curled up like a scardey cat whimpering helplessly.
He stayed in a ball for over an hour, trying to heat himself up. He could hear the wind growing stronger outside and it whistled in the various holes that were in the thick walls. He unfurled and climbed up the status a little farther. He once again laydown in a tight ball and closed his eyes. Somehow he managed to fall asleep. It was a deep and dreamless one... Something that he had not been able to have for a very long time.

Ookami woke to a creaking. He didn't know what it was, probably just a tree outside that was about to buckle and fall to he ground. He ignored it, trying to close his eyes again, then the creaking grew louder. His eyes snapped open and he looked around, that was no tree, how in the world would he hear it above the screaming wind, especially inside a thick walled building such as this one.. He jumped up, he knew what that sound meant. He began to run down the stairs, wishing that he had stayed at the bottom. He tripped though and flipped over, rolling down the stairs. His ankle caught on something and he felt it begin to break, he manuervered his body, making it so all his ankle did was pop out of place and a few ligaments torn. He yelled out from the pain, it was better than breaking it though, well at least he hoped it was. The creaking kept getting louder, but Ookami couldn't move, he rolled over on his back and watched as the tower started to collapse. His eyes opened wide and he watched as the bricks began to fall around him, slowly at first. then it started to speed up. He rolled back over and used his three good legs to push against the ground. His left back leg was limp and he couldn't move it. He managed to reach some sort of alcove but was unable to get inside all the way. The tower gave out completely, bricks and debis fell ontop of Ookami, a couple landing on his head, His head however was mostly safe so all it did was knowl him out, not crush his skull. The heavy bricks covered his body... and he lay.. knocked out and helpless...
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